So tonight I was getting ready to get into the tub, I went to the restroom, got up, was standing near the tub, when I felt a lump or something come out. Ugh..
I put my hand down there and ANOTHER PIECE OF placenta came out!
omg!
It was brown, didn't feel like much coming out. It was about almost 2 inches long, and maybe a half of an inch wide. Not too big, but looked just like the rest I m/c a month ago (tomorrow) Had veins in it, was firm. Eww... Strange.... Very, very strange! Maybe it was stuck in my cervix? Maybe it was at the bottom of my uterus? Who freaking knows...
I've been spotting still. Going from brown to red, always enough to wear a pad. ~~sigh~~ A pad now for a month. Sucks!
I can't believe it's been a month since I lost my baby. It's sad really, sad to think how far along I'd be now, just a couple more weeks - I'd be able to find out the sex. I'd be showing, rubbing my belly and just being a giddy happy, cute pregnant woman. But now. Here I am.
I will still say, I'm glad I m/c at home. Even tonight, looking at that poc that came out of me, thinking how lucky I was to be able to see what was inside of me, knowing that I was going to let he/she come out of me the way it was intended to. I know not everyone can have a natural m/c, but I'm SO glad I did. I really would not have done the m/c differently.
It's just the after stuff that stinks so bad. The month long bleeding, the wondering when AF is coming, the TTC thoughts. All of that stinks.
A month.
Time goes fast - yet so slowly. I know that doesn't make sense to some, but for me the term fits perfectly.
I think I'll go to the Dr. on Wed to get my last freaking beta. (until I'm pg again)
I bought a book last night. It's called "Preventing Miscarriage" By, Jonathan Scher MD. Should be a good read. I just want to take ALL the precautions to prevent this crap from ever happening again.
I'm going to be thankful this thanksgiving. I'm SO thankful for my wonderful family whom I adore more than anything. I know they all don't fully understand the impact on me, and my m/c, but they've been there as best as they can. For that I'm thankful.
I'm going to get into the holidays. I can't wait to start decorating and being happy. I just want to be happy.
Love you guys!
xoxo,
me
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5 comments:
Hi there!
I can't believe you lost more tissue after the ultrasound where they gave you the all clear!! Hopefully this is what's been the cause of your spotting and HCG not being back at zero. I hope that's it and you'll be back to normal now. Sometimes it seems like this M/c thing is never ending....
Thanks also for stopping by and leaving a comment on my blog.
All the best!
Hi Im, I am amazed at how long this entire thing is taking too! I would think that after that long either your body would have cramped or contracted enough to try to push that all out way long ago. My heart goes out to you hunny, I know that it is just another reminder of what you have already gone through.
With my first m/c everything moved so quickly.. this time things are moving very slowly. Lots of tissue still passing while I spot still. I am going back and forth on the decision to have more kids and think that maybe this is a good thing that it is taking that long so that by the time I emotionally make up my mind I will have a clear head before my body is ready.
I'm having a good Thanksgiving too. Everyday I look around and think to myself I am so blessed and the 2 that are already in heaven are waiting for me where they are not in any pain and probably have it better than we do down here!!
And I'm thankful for you and this blog... you were just one more of my many blessings!!! Thank you!!
M
I'm so sorry that you have have had to go through it this but thank you for keeping this post up, it's so honest and informative and has really helped me. I had no idea what to expect or know what was normal and what wasn't as no one really tells you. But your blog has really helped.
I'm so sorry that you have have had to go through it this but thank you for keeping this post up, it's so honest and informative and has really helped me. I had no idea what to expect or know what was normal and what wasn't as no one really tells you. But your blog has really helped.
I'm so sorry that you have have had to go through it this but thank you for keeping this post up, it's so honest and informative and has really helped me. I had no idea what to expect or know what was normal and what wasn't as no one really tells you. But your blog has really helped.
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