I had a dream.......

Last night I had a dream that I was mis-diagnosed. I've been reading way too much on www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com
While it does happen, I'm almost certain that I'm not a case. At first I thought maybe, because of my tilted uterus, but not anymore. I saw the u/s on last Tuesday. I KNOW there was nothing in the sac. I even have a few "blood pockets" near the sac, and that isn't normal either.

But, the dream had me a little weirded out. I mean, it was SO real and vivid! It was *MY* Dr. And I demanded another one in the practice come in, one last u/s and we found the baby. LOL - wishful thinking I suppose. But, it stuck in my head. I've never been one ever to read into my dreams, and I know it's only because I've been reading stories, and had some hope the week before last. I know that this pregnancy isn't viable. It just was a weird dream!!

I wish I'd start bleeding! I am actually quite ready to be done with this. Sucks. My 15th wedding anniversary is this month. We did celebrate (sort of) by going to Hawaii this summer, but didn't officially celebrate, didn't do anything alone or anything like that. I've been trying to find cheapo tickets to Vegas on Ding (southwest airlines cheap) but none so far. I'd really like my babes with us, so we could re-new our wedding vows, but then I have no babysitting for DH and I to go out and do something, I even thought of buying my Mom a ticket to go with us and watch them, my oldest is 14, but leaving the two of them in a hotel room while we go out is not something I would do.


Well, sucks. I wish Dh and I could be very happy this month, celebrating our 15 years together, our new baby (I'd be about 14 weeks then) but no..... Here I am, 17 days away from our anniversary, waiting to miscarry a baby that never was..

Oh well.

One positive side, is I can drink! I haven't really had much to drink since Hawaii, and even then I only had like 2 mai-tai's. Not even enough to buzz me.

I think if we did head to Vegas, I would get drunk!

13 days since diagnosis, and waiting and waiting and waiting - probably doing cytotec this weekend, a girl on the website that I spoke about above, did it yesterday and it wasn't too bad other than a lot of bleeding (think very heavy period)

..................