Reading- searching- more reading and searching..

I can NOT stop searching on the internet about my situation. I think I've looked at everything regarding cytotec. Honestly I wish there was more info out there. There just isn't much! Surprising, considering how common miscarriage is. I bet a lot of women don't post. I remember, when I was first diagnosed, I chose the cytotec immediately. I was actually planning to do it that weekend. I'm not even sure I would have posted.
But, I will say that I'm SICK of reading the freaking horror stories! So many women posting things like "the pain was so bad, I passed out" Ect... Um, didn't any of these woman take pain pills? I could not imagine in my right mind, doing this without being armed with at least something for pain.

I feel like this is a big count down. I want to do this early enough in the morning to where it's almost over by the evening. I just don't know what time. I was thinking of setting my alarm for like 3am or something, and doing it then, so about the time I wake up the bleeding should start. I don't think I should do this at night. For one, I don't want to be up from about 3am bleeding and in pain. I want to know how long this is going to take. I figure if I do the pills at 3am, I should be pretty much done by midnight. Or at least I hope so.

I should have a ticker "countdown to miscarriage" or something... You know, I'm working myself up to this WAY TOO MUCH. And I know this. But, I'll say it feels good venting here on my laptop. Getting this out to whoever reads it. Honestly, it's my therapy. Just posting after I already made a post feels nice.
I think I'll google this stuff a little more. I'm watching dancing with the stars now, that is helping keep me occupied. I did google foods very high in iron. I'm going to stock up on some Gatorade, and some bran cereal maybe ( I loathe milk) some nuts, and then some chocolate. Maybe some children's pedialite.
I really hope when I do this, I have this amazing great positive story to tell. Like, I bled, it wasn't too bad, I passed everything... bla bla bla.
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to do this, not pass everything, and then end up with a d&c which I absolutely do not want. Or, I'll get some "tissue" stuck in my cervix. Not my cup of tea.

Please pray that everything goes smooth for me.
xoxoxo,
me